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WHY NOT: Messi joins Tottenham to check how it feels while others win trophies

WHY NOT: Messi joins Tottenham to check how it feels while others win trophies

Lionel Messi has won it all in football and is by far the best player on the planet.

Despite becoming the first man ever to cross 1000 goals and assists landmark, he is still targeted by some “experts” around the world for not being good enough. Lionel has now decided to step into their shoes to get a better understanding of how their brains can be so retarded.

In a wise choice, to regress his career, Messi had plenty of clubs to choose from – Ole’s Manchester United made a solid case but Messi backed out as he was not assured of a restraining order to block Lingard.

After skimming through the likes of Chelsea, who rejected Messi since he is on the wrong side of 30, and AC Milan, who said Messi is too young to join them, Leo finally found his home at Jose Mourinho’s Tottenham Hotspur.

It is being reported Jose, personally assured Leo that he will not have to wait for three years to get rid of him and unlike the Coronavirus, he will be gone much sooner than expected.

Messi’s medical had to be delayed since the Tottenham hospital beds are still busy nursing Son, Kane, and everyone who hates Jose back to fitness.

A deal has finally been reached for Messi with the player now signed as an official back up to Aurier at right back in Jose’s 9-1-0 (why attack when you cant defend) formation.

Football fans are excited to watch Tottenham CEO and generous philanthropist Daniel Levy pay Messi dribbles-per-minute as per their agreement. Some are calling it masterstroke from Levy as the Argentinian will need to have the ball first to dribble, which will be rendered void by Mourinho’s super counter-attacking football.

Stay with us for more news as we also reportedly hear Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang has challenged the training ground mannequins after getting bored of nutmegging Luiz and Mustafi together.

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